Back in the late 1980s, when the so-called “Religious Right” (with figures like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson) conducted a campaign against lesbian and gay people, I was struck by how quickly certain slogans quickly gained cultural traction. Interviews and rallies were filled with soundbites about “traditional families” and the call to support “biblical values” for those families. Obvious questions about this surfaced almost immediately (and even some easily made jokes): exactly which biblical families should we emulate today? The one God blessed for King Solomon with his 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3)? Or perhaps we should follow the example of both Jesus and St. Paul, who apparently remained single for their entire lives; Paul even urged the readers of his letters to remain unmarried like himself (1 Cor. 7:8-9). Traditional families in the Bible also included patterns that made wives little more than property, and men as “lords” of their household with complete control and authority over every member (which, frankly, some men today would prefer).
I mention all this because of the uncanny confluence of the calendar and the lectionary on this coming Sunday. This third Sunday in LGBTQ Pride Month is of course also observed by many as Father’s Day. The Gospel passage assigned by the lectionary just so happens to include a warning from Jesus that he will “set a man against his father,” and that those who follow him will find “foes” in their own household. (When you hear or read that passage on Sunday, please remember that I did not choose it; it is entirely a coincidental lectionary collision with our calendar!) This peculiar lectionary moment offers a powerful reminder that biblical families were indeed quite different from modern families, and that we shouldn’t simply assume that how we live in our household families today has anything to do with “traditional biblical values” (whatever those may be!).
Does all of this mean that the Bible is completely useless for grappling with sexual ethics in our own day and creating thriving households and flourishing families? No, of course not. But that kind of work demands more from us than just finding a verse or two in the Bible and applying it to our own lives in today’s world. Biblical scholar and theologian Walter Wink, for example, proposed that we set aside any attempt to adopt a “biblical sexual ethic”—there really is no such thing. As Wink notes, biblical books reflect multiple cultural customs and social mores, none of which fit neatly into a single paradigm of sexual morality. Many of the sexual practices of those ancient societies would be woefully out of place today: eleven-year-old girls getting married, for example, or the prohibition against marrying outside one’s own “tribal circle.”
Rather than trying to make the Bible into a coherent rule book for a “sexual ethic,” Wink urged us instead to develop a biblical “love ethic.” By this, he meant that we need to engage in a process of shared discernment about what care and compassion look like in loving relationships for today’s world, which are the foundational values every biblical writer tried to identify and express for their world. That kind of religious and spiritual work is actually much harder than just reading a Bible verse and doing what it “says” (that’s mostly how I was raised to think about the Bible). We must tend carefully to the original historical and cultural context of those biblical texts while also discerning together what “love” really means for our shared flourishing.
Reflecting on all of this during LGBTQ Pride Month (including our lectionary collisions with the calendar!) also presents some timely opportunities to wonder about the social shape of the world we now inhabit. How much about today’s household economics and political convictions (all of which infuse whatever we mean by “family”) do we just assume as “natural” or “normative” when they might actually be corrosive and impairing? More pointedly, to those who still insist, even in today’s world, that lesbian and gay couples disrupt “traditional families,” we can point out that Matthew’s Jesus already did that a long time ago (sons against fathers, daughters against mothers, in-laws against everyone). We might even go further and note that the patriarchal household of the ancient Mediterranean world was not at all compatible with the “good news” about the coming Kingdom of God that Jesus preached. So rather than the form of a family, perhaps a Gospel-rooted approach might instead prompt us to ponder what we want to value about a whole range of family configurations: how do we love, and for whom do we care, and where does compassion lead us? How do we even answer such questions together?
This kind of biblical reflection sets a very different agenda for our work as a Christian faith community, which does not consist in merely “baptizing” current cultural norms; there’s nothing especially “sacred,” for example, about the “nuclear family” of modern Western society. The first-century Jesus Movement seemed much more concerned with reshaping human society more broadly (which the Gospel writers tried to capture in how they told the story), and this might prompt us to wonder what else we have taken for granted about our modern world that might deserve renewed Gospel scrutiny.
What if Pride Month invites more than merely “tolerating” the presence of LGBTQ people? What if the “queerness” of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people provokes a realization about the queerness of Christian faith itself? I have struggled for many years now with that word queer and how disturbing and dismaying it is to many, and rightly so—its original meaning in sixteenth-century Scottish contexts meant “odd” or “off-center,” and evolved into a slur for people who don’t “fit in” for any number of reasons, and then finally in nineteenth-century American society it became attached to what some considered “perverse” sexual practices or gendered mannerisms. But precisely because of that unsettling history, we might recover the destabilizing and energizing character of the Gospel for our own day.
It is certainly quite telling that so many of us will wrestle and argue and become alarmed when Matthew’s Jesus seems to undermine “traditional families” but hardly blink an eye when that same Jesus concludes this coming Sunday’s passage by telling his followers to take up their cross, follow him, and lose their lives—which he says is the only way to find true life. Have we really forgotten just how queer—that is, how odd, peculiar, jarring, disruptive, and revolutionary—that Gospel exhortation truly is? Which sounds “queerer” to you, that families are disrupted or that we have to die in order to live?
This Father’s Day, the third Sunday in LGBTQ Pride Month, Matthew’s Jesus declares that the Gospel will “set a son against his father.” Let this moment be strange, just as strange as it wants to be; after all, the Gospel is meant to be transformative, and for the sake of life.
Dates and Notices
- All Saints’ Outdoor Sanctuary is a wonderful spot for Sunday worship as a way to “lower barriers to entry” in the wider community (people will sometimes stop on the street as they pass by during worship) and to embody our commitment to ecological healing and renewal, not to mention to remind ourselves of the many other species with whom we share this precious Earth (the birds singing and occasional acorn-throwing squirrel are vivid reminders). Weather and air quality don’t always cooperate, of course, and the mulched land is sometimes not easy to navigate, so we have developed a schedule for our outdoor worship over these summer weeks. Please note: the 8:30 liturgy will always be inside and we will send text and email messages on Saturday afternoons if a planned outdoor service is moving back inside. Please click HERE for a summer schedule!
- Juneteenth is too often overlooked in our larger calendar of commemorations, but it’s an important reminder about the racial history of the United States (a great deal of which has been repressed and even erased by our own government over the last 18 months). Let’s remember: On June 19, 1865, U.S. Army Major General Gordon Granger read aloud “General Order #3” in Texas, which legally enforced the freeing of all remaining slaves in that state. The Emancipation Proclamation did this officially in 1863, but slavery still continued in various parts of the country for a time after that, including in much of Texas. That day in 1865 eventually became known as “Juneteenth” and evolved into a celebration of African-American culture more broadly. It was recognized as a federal holiday in legislation signed by President Biden in 2021. This commemoration also occurs, of course, in LGBTQ Pride Month, a compelling way to mark the significance of those places in our society and in our lives where race, sexuality, and gender overlap and intersect.
- A Rectory Reception is just the thing to help celebrate LGBTQ Pride Month and also greet some of our newer members and guests in these summer weeks. Please mark your calendars for Sunday, June 28—“Pride Sunday”!—and stop by the Rectory between 4:30—6:00 p.m. for some light refreshments and fellowship! (This will include vigorous welcome wiggles from River the Aussie shepherd dog…)
- The Bi-Annual Meeting and Picnic! Some years ago this parish began conducting a Bi-Annual Meeting in the summer to help ensure the full participation of “snow birds” who were away in January. We have kept that practice and we conduct some important business on that day, including the election of Vestry members and other lay leaders. This year we are adding a wonderful parish picnic to the agenda! Mark your calendars for Sunday, July 19. The meeting will happen immediately after the 10:15 liturgy and we will enjoy a picnic after the meeting!
- The Nominating Committee has been meeting to do their important work of leadership development and identifying people to serve in key positions as we continue together on this “good road” in this parish. As we prepare to hold elections at our Bi-Annual Meeting in July, do note these nominations:
- For Vestry: Larry Engel and Rita Davenport.
- For Diocesan Convention: Bobbie Gaunt and Julia Lamb.
- For Endowment Fund Trustees: Janet Eder and Mary Ryder
- For the Nominating Committee: Lisa Baker and Margaret Mason
I continue to be so pleased to be working with a professional marketing and communications agency, called “Somersault,” as they help us spread the word about our mission and ministry in this parish on social media (like Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms) and as they also help us redesign our website. (This is also why we recently hired the Rev. Rebekah Taylor to help us build out our “digital ministry” efforts!) This is the first time in more than 35 years of ordained ministry that I have worked with marketing professionals in this way (let’s not forget that Bobbie Gaunt spent her entire career in marketing and has been offering those insights all along!). I hope you have seen some of Somersault’s wonderful work—which also helped to attract another record-setting number of guests to our Jazz for Justice concert to kick off LGBTQ Pride Month on June 5th. Toward the end of May, for example, Somersault sent this brief recap of those efforts: “All Saints’ cumulative digital reach and engagement has increased significantly by over 9x and we’ve seen significant growth in engagement and followers! Perhaps most importantly, our promotional efforts (for Jazz for Justice) have generated around 500 users expressing interest in attending the event. Our ads will continue running until the day before the event, so we are projecting an additional 300-400 responses!”
It’s also important to note that the more we extend our reach and become more visible in our Gospel witness, the more pushback and resistance we will encounter (this is actually in large measure what we will hear from Matthew’s account of the Gospel this coming Sunday!). Those voices of resistance, while sometimes dismaying, are vital reminders that our work—around LGBT sensibilities, race and ethnicity, ecology and gender—truly matters, and that we mustn’t take any of it for granted. In this Pride Month, for example, do take note that some people still find our posture of welcome and inclusion to be an example of “blasphemy,” and that we are clearly a “fake church,” and that God has “destined us for Hell.” All the more reason, my friends, for us to re-commit to that welcoming posture, not only because it’s the Gospel thing to do but also because it offers a beacon of life-saving healing to many, even those who may never come to our parish campus. Please know that our shared ministry in this place truly does matter—and I’m grateful to be doing that work with you!
Fr. Jay
A Community of Care
Please let us know how we may pray for you—concerns as well as celebrations—and other requests you may have as we strengthen our bonds of care and compassion with each other here in western Michigan and with those around the world in need of prayer.
Notices:
- Very early this past Sunday morning, Fr. Jay’s friend Holly Quarles died peacefully at her home and under hospice care; she had been bravely battling brain cancer for the last nine years. Please keep her husband Stephan and their nine-year old son Maxwell in your prayers, and all those who love and will miss Holly.
Prayer Requests
- The United States of America—for a restoration of peace and for a renewed commitment to the common good; for an end to systemic racism and violence; for social and economic justice; for a courageous engagement with ecological renewal and healing.
- For an end to violence and a lasting peace with justice throughout the world—in the Middle East (especially in Iran, the nations of the Gulf region, and still also Gaza and the West Bank), and in Ukraine.
- The mission and shared ministry of this parish, for pastoral insight and ministerial discernment for the clergy and lay leaders, especially the Vestry and our various Ministry Teams.
- For the Bishop Search Committee of this Diocese of the Great Lakes, for divine guidance in preparing a slate of candidates, and for discernment among all those who might feel called to serve.
- Lynn, Mary Ryder’s cousin.
- Katelyn, for comfort and healing.
- Mary Saba, for healing.
- Frank Lindsay, for healing.
- Sky and Dale Ann Suydam, for resilience and courage.
- Kevin Martin, for healing and renewed strength.
- Susan Gaunt, for renewed strength and healing.
- Ruth Vanden Bosch, for resilience and healing.
- Mike Mulcahy and Chris Seidel, for comfort and strength.
- Abigail Collins, grieving the loss of Marjorie Wallendorf.
- Stephan and Maxwell and all those grieving the loss of Holly Quarles.
Special Occasions in June
Do we have your special occasions on file? Would you like to prayerfully celebrate your baptismal anniversary? Ordination anniversary? Let us know what you would like us to remember with you and we’ll post it!
Birthdays – June
Bonnie VerWys 6/3, Don Olendorf 6/7, John Celletti 6/12, Eve Shetterly 6/15, Ellen Neal 6/16, Christi Allen 6/17, Marcy Elder 6/20, Abigail Collins 6/25, Marion Monique 6/28, Janet Eder 6/30
Wedding Anniversaries – June
Win and Mary Ryder 6/1, Larry Engel and Darren Schacht 6/13, John and Cynthia Fulenwider 6/24, David and Margaret Mason 6/29
